Yew or holly

a hostage I was
in the hands of the German government
I think they were holding me for ransom
couldn't have been 'cause I'm handsome
yet a descendant
of Swiss royal blood
I declared I was
as I assured my captives of their wrath
and revenge for this grave injustice
while I held a highlighter to their throats
to escape I hurled
multi-colored eggs
of stone through glass
but they were only bound up within it
and became an opaque window themselves
until I ran out and had no more to throw
and suddenly a crash
and shattered glass
the window gave way
I bound through the hole in the wall
out into the forested yard well beyond
and hurriedly searched for sanctuary
a fenced in yard
with a tunnel entry
I slid through quick
and grasped a limb of supposed yew
though something else told me holly
still some other voice gave me more intel
the German public
was of the opinion
piss was fouler than dirt
I found myself within that fenced yard
where a thin shelf of dirt rose above
and created a nook to tuck myself in
as I was told of
the status of dirt
I so tucked in and awoke