Should've, would've, could've

 my should've is a vine

slithering through my gut

when I heard you had 

spoken your last words

your feet were so pale and cold

when you took those first steps

into the dark

I want to grab your hand still

when I could've when we were still

so stupid, so misshapen, so weak

and so ready to bite into it all

I should've when we were alone

and stolen away to lay out 

in front of the starry abyss

on our backs on the trampoline

in the shadow of the house at night

where we could've watched the lights 

dance through the seasons

and where we could've poured out

all our troubles into those starry depths

as our heads laid ear to ear

listening so gently 

as the sandhills exhaled in the distance

I should've brought you out into those hills

and held your arms while you let your rage

explode from your mouth

perhaps your tears could've formed a sea

and I would've swam its waves with you

I could've been a reason for you to stay

hoping that I would've been enough

to keep your pale cold feet from taking those

steps into the dark

I should've grabbed your hand back then

when, when I could've